Welcome to motherhood
I open my email and the first thing I read is Victoria Secret offering me a new body, Michelle Bridges offering me a body transformation and Sarah Wilson telling me I should quit sugar. To be honest with you all what I think is: I am still recovering from my last body transformation and yes I do have a new body (thank you so much Victoria Secret for the reminder) and quitting sugar means quitting chocolate which could transform me in a potential hazard. Since May I am leaving a roller-coaster of emotions, hormones and sleeping patterns. That is right: I have a baby.
People say “you won’t be sleeping”, “forget the bikini”, “I was a zombie”… Now thanks for the encouragement pals! To all the new mamas out there I have only one piece of advice: this too shall pass! (This mantra is from the great Pinky Mckay)
This has become my mantra in hard times, not that we have many hard times because I have a “trick baby” but I am still a new mum learning from the struggles, getting to know a little soul and trying to raise a responsible human being (and I get it “you just started, wait until she is a teenager or the terrible twos!”).
When we signed up for this adventure we sort of knew what we were up to. A couple of month earlier I remember we had a summer dinner up the river whit four couples, all of them with their monitor in hand and talking about the hard things of parenthood. I remember thinking "something good must come out of this experience of having kids otherwise no one would signed up to carry an alien for 9 month and get their inner bits trashed". Let me tell you future mamas being a mum is an amazing experience.
Things don’t happen like it does in a TV commercial. Not everyone welcome their baby feeling a deep love. Personally my blossom was born after 19 hours of labour and a lot of bleeding. By the time she came out I was in shock, trembling and with no energy to even lift my arms to cuddle her. Lucky her dad was there to give her a cuddle and welcome her with the tears she deserves (to all of those planning to get pregnant: having a good partner is vital from conception to the rest of your life…kudos for all the single mums!). I didn’t see my bundle of joy until the next day. When I first saw her I felt like I was meeting a stranger, that immense joy of looking at her for the first time wasn’t there although I loved my belly and the little swimmer inside of me before.
I missed my belly and all those hormones where making me feel very down, I also had an overload of suggestions and people telling me what to do. I thought there was something wrong with me so I jumped into Google (Google has become my best counsellor) and discovered that all the things I was feeling were quite common. Now I couldn’t think of my life without her. So yes the joy and deep love grows, as Paul Kelly sings “from little things, big things grow”.
I was also very scared of getting post-natal depression. One night as I was pouring my eyes I decided to follow my instinct instead of everyone else advice. This was the best decision I ever took, since then I learned to listen to my baby and she has been a content happy chapy. I know if you are desperate and sleep deprived this may sound like a lot of rubbish but that is my experience. I see it this way: a baby can’t talk so his/her voice is his/her crying, if baby cries is because he/she wants to communicate something. When babies cry maybe they are hungry, maybe they’re uncomfortable, maybe they need a nappy change, maybe they are aching, maybe they just need a cuddle. Try to see what works for your baby and soon you will learn the different cues for different things.Sounds easy enough but beware it is not, it would take time and plenty of behavioral observation.
Motherhood is great!
Next time I will be taking you into a great, quirky and full on journey: my experience of giving birth.